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Writer's pictureROGER H. TALL, M.D.

THEY GAVE EACH OTHER VALENTINES




THEY GAVE EACH OTHER VALENTINES Long before I started dating MK, our parents had been good friends. They had grandchildren in common, traveled to Hawaii and Israel together, and our mothers shared the same birthday. After their spouses died, my father and MK's mother became an item. Not to worry, our children turned out ok. They called each other nearly every day and soon gained an appreciation for each other's interests. She took him to plays and musicals and he took her jeeping, looking at wildlife, and to one fishing movie. They often attended the octagenarian lunch at Broulim’s in Rigby. Theirs was a fond and familiar relationship. One granddaughter in high school complained that her grandmother dated more than she did.

My father was a fixture at the dinners and events at Hunter Ranch, MK's mother’s home. One particularly wintry Christmas Eve the driveway was drifting in, so he parked his Jeep in her garage. When the program was finished and the dishes were put away, he announced that it was time for him to go home. It was still blowing and a two-foot drift had blown in across the driveway. Some of her grandchildren returning to Blackfoot got stuck trying to get down the road. After getting unstuck, they called to warn us of the hazard. My father was in his 80’s and we encouraged him to stay overnight with the rest of us. He objected, saying that he would be just fine, reminding us that he had a Jeep. He told us that he had been driving in this kind of weather for over 50 years, making house calls and helping people. We suggested that at his age he could really end up in a bad situation if he got stuck traveling alone on country roads. He still protested, but after some back and forth he finally conceded, saying reluctantly, “I guess if I am going to stay, I better go get my pajamas and toothbrush out of the Jeep.”


Having the same grandchildren provided opportunities for being together at family gatherings. Some of her great-grandchildren thought my father was Gordon B. Hinckley and they were so young that we did not tell them otherwise. They never married, but everywhere they went, people thought they were a couple. With so much in common, they shared trips with us to Hawaii and San Francisco, weddings and funerals, baptisms, and blessings that they may have missed had it not been for this unique companionship. They gave each other Valentines.


Many of my patients said to the effect that if they had known they were going to live this long, they would have taken better care of themselves. My father put it another way, saying that if he had known he was going to live this long, he would have asked MK's mother to marry him. Her devotion was true. As his health declined, she showed up long after the party was over, visiting him almost daily after he entered the assisted living center. As far as I am concerned, people like her, who are not just fairweather friends, have passed one of the real litmus tests of this life.

Ever vigilant,

RT












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